Love Wears Converse
by Demented Duckie
Summary: So beautifully seductive, but he might be unable to bear the secrets of his true loves dark past. Yaoi. Seto x Jou
1. Dirty secrets

Rated: R, for later chapters.

Summary: There isn't one yet, but I'll add one in as soon as I figure out the entire plot myself.

Disclaimer: I don't own it, so you don't sue me.

Duckie: Guess who's back, back again, Hikage (with a new name) is back, tell a friend... I have deleted my other stories because one - I'll never finish them; two - one has gotten entirely out of hand and is unsalvageable and the other simply doesn't compare with my new writing style; and three – this is an altered version of a (real) story I want to begin work on, so I'm going to see if I like the plot/storyline, that sort of thing. So, I welcome all readers (those who read my work before and those new) to my latest piece, Love Wears Converse.

Note I do not know what honestly happened to Kaiba's parents, so this is my own spin on things. If you want to tell me what actually happened in a decent human manner feel free, if you want to flame me like a PMSing woman who's lost her car keys you can do that too. Either way, I'm not changing what I wrote so it doesn't honestly matter.

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So childish...

Pale slender fingers gently reached toward the slate grey sky, painfully flexing and then straightening again, lazily grasping at the tiny snowflakes that danced from the heavens. No two snowflakes were alike, each different in their own respect, completely individual. Sort of like people, the only difference being that all the snowflakes accepted one another, all danced together... People weren't quite so feeling. You didn't want to be _too _individual, or so his mother had always told him. People who were_ too_ different were frowned upon, outcast for being what they were. That's why he'd been home schooled – there were other children who might be _too_ unique and that was no good, because then he might realize he wanted to be distinctive as well, that he wanted to flaunt what he truly was. So he'd been forced to be more like the other boys, normal boys, his sketchbooks and journals had been taken away, replaced by a football that reeked of pigskin.

A sardonic smile found its way across his rose petal lips. Mother wouldn't be able to steal his personality anymore... In fact, she wouldn't be doing much of anything anymore. An icy shiver skittered down his back with spidery fingers, and a fresh wave of pain pulsed in his hand, a million feelings rushing back. Soft flesh, splitting and tearing, warm crimson flowing over his mangled fist, piercing screams wracking her fragile body, louder and louder. He cradled his right hand to his chest and rolled over on his good arm, folding it beneath his head. His body tingled with a jumble of sensations, throbbing with a dull warmth he recognized as power. The word reverberated numbly in his mind; he liked the sound of it. She'd had power over him – never once he retaliated when she hit him, never had he told her to stop. Was this what is felt like, the ultimate high, but at the same time so lowly? His pulse throbbing tightly against his wrist, ready to burst at any moment.

_You're just like her..._

Sharp blue eyes snapped open, blinking dazedly as the room slowly came into focus. The professor was still prattling on, stopping every so often to run a hand through his balding hair and ask if there were any questions. His chair slammed backward into the row behind him, his boots squeaking on the freshly waxed floors that smelled of Pine-Sol.

"Mr. Kaiba-"

The door in the back of the room slammed shut, and the brunet was already half way down the hall, long trench coat fluttering behind him. When he rounded the corner, Seto immediately slumped down against the wall and let his books slam to the ground next to him. He rummaged in his pocket momentarily and slipped out a small prescription bottle and popped one of the pills into his palm, gulping it down without a second thought.

"Hey Kaiba, what're ya doin' outta class?"

He didn't turn to look at the blonde, but caught him in the corner of his eye. Jounouchi stood with his hands jammed in the pockets of a faded blue denim jacket, his head cocked to one side so his golden bangs fell just over dark chocolate tinted irises. A stripe of fitted orange T-shirt could be seen under the jacket, and a hint of smooth flesh peeked out where his shirt ended and his loose jeans began. Tattered and doodled on green Converse high tops enclosed his feet; a messenger bag was slung over one shoulder. "None of your business, mutt." Seto growled, trying to discretely tuck the bottle into his pocket. It wasn't hidden enough.

In one fluid movement, the blonde bent down and stole the pills, turning away and observing the label carefully. "Da..Da...Daretrium?" He stumbled over the name and spun to face Kaiba. "What's it for?"

"Give me that!" The brunet snapped, balancing on one foot as he struggled against Jou's arm to get the bottle back.

Jou held it in the opposite arm, stretching it as far out of reach as possible. "Tell me what it's fa-or," he said in a sing-song voice.

"Damn it!" And the next thing he knew there was a loud _thud_ and Seto was laying in a rather awkward position on top of a certain blonde, his arms pinning the puppy's head in place, his own irises meeting with toffee brown, both of them breathing hard. Everything seemed to freeze, and gradually the brunet pushed himself up.

"Here," the puppy whispered breathily, a trembling hand holding out the container.

Their fingers brushed as Kaiba took it, and suddenly time burst into action. The azure eyed man swiftly heading in the opposite direction as Jounouchi adjusted his jacket and rose to his feet. There was a soft snigger and Jou heaved a sigh. "Yeah, yeah... Jus' come make funna me and get it over with."

A short boy who seemed no older then ten or so with sleek locks of crimson, gold, and black appeared behind the blonde, his amethyst eyes sparkling with innocent amusement. Next to him stood a more matured version, as though he had stepped through a time machine, with stormier eyes and a deep voice. "What was _that?_" Yami snickered and Yugi watched his friend with questioningly.

"Come on Yug, it's not like it was my fault or anythin'... Hell, it was that jerks fault more then mine." Unfortunately, his face refused to cooperate and blushed furiously.

Yugi's shoulders shook and he buried his face in Yami's chest to keep his mirth quiet. Yami himself was gnawing on the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing, making the heat in Jou's face flare. "It's...okay...we won't tell...anyone..." he managed through heaving breaths, his voice trembling to keep from laughing again.

The brunet snorted; by mid-afternoon Anzu, Honda, Otogi, Bakura, and Ryou would all know and would find some way to torment him with it. When he looked up again Yami had snaked his arms around Yugi's waist and was nipping at the smaller boy's ear while he squirmed and giggled like a school girl. Jou felt something in him ache and gripped the strap of his bag hard. "Guys, I gotta go... see ya later, okay?"

Yugi broke away from the firm kiss Yami had planted on his lips and twisted around, "Okay, but don't forget we're going to the club tonight... We'll pick you up at eight thirty?"

"Yeah, sounds good." He left the pair in the hall and leisurely made his way to the C Wing, which had a formal name for the prick who'd donated all the money to build it, but Jou always failed to remember.

The dorm's industrial style carpet was barely visible through laundry, pizza boxes, soda cans, and trash bags that had piled up over time; the coffee table was haphazardly piled with books, notebooks, pens, and half empty Starbucks cups. There was decent sized TV that didn't get cable but had an Xbox plugged into it and somewhere in the clutter was a stack of games and two controllers. He frowned at the mess and made a mental note to pick it up eventually, then tossed his bag on the navy blue sofa that sat in the middle of the wall. The door to his room was jammed and with some difficulty the blonde roughly shouldered it, nearly falling over when it flew open. His room was clean aside from the clothes hanging out of the dresser from his morning rush to get to class, but the teen shoved them back in their rightful places then stripped down and flopped back on the soft sheets of his bed, springs creaking with age, though it was comfortable enough that he didn't toss and turn all night. The white sheets were cool and crisp on his naked flesh and in less then five minutes, the blonde was lost in sleep.

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Somehow, his apartment seemed lonelier than usual, the whirring of computers in the back room noisier than usual. Playing in to the mood, the brunet quietly took off his shoes and let his trench coat slip off his shoulders, closed the door to the computer lab, then collapsed on the couch, listening to the eerily loud silence, drinking in his 'home'. There was nothing on the floor, and only an open Biology book on the table. A flat screen television was hung on the wall; there was a faded maroon rug on the floor covering the plush burgundy carpet. It was all so pristine and precise...boring. Kaiba massaged his temple with two fingers then stood from the couch and grabbed a towel out of the linen closet.

The bathroom was probably the biggest room in the entire apartment, with a massive shower and huge round bathtub in the corner that had three steps leading up to it and had a jet setting. The other wall was completely filled with black granite countertops that glistened under florescent lights had a long sprawling mirror hung over it. In the bathrooms entrance was a door with a tiny closet-like area connected to it where the toilet was hidden. The brunet tossed his clothes on the floor and didn't bother wrapping the plush towel around his waist while he waited for the shower water to heat up. Within minutes steam drifted out of the glass door and the mirror was partially fogged.

The azure eyed teen groaned blissfully as scalding water poured over his tense muscles and matted his shaggy brown hair to his cheeks. He leaned the right side of his body against the cold tile, his head resting on the washcloth bar. The incident with the mutt kept playing through his mind like a tape on replay, and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't block it out. Finally, his thoughts drifted incoherently, not even trying to make sense.

"S-Seto, what's going on?"

"Mokuba, Leave. Now."

The raven haired little boy looked at him with big watery eyes, his frame trembling. "What's wrong with mommy?"

The icy boy stared at his mother's collapsed body that was layed out face down on the checkered linoleum. "Nothing. But you have to go now, okay?" His voice softened and he hugged his baby brother tightly. "I'll meet you at the clubhouse across the river; do you remember how to get there?"

"Mm...hm..." He sniffled, snuggling his face into Seto's shirt. Then he ran, the screen door slamming shut behind him.

There was a loud groan and his mother shoved herself up on her elbows, dark crimson dripping from a wide gash on her lip. The brunet's stormy eyes blinked, and he cracked his knuckles. "Something wrong, mother dearest?" He felt no remorse, no guilt, only a shiver of pleasure. Pleasure...A strange emotion for murder he supposed. The strings controlling his emotions weren't tugging the right way, but he thought maybe once it was over he'd feel something, one of the strings might snap.

"Seto, you-you know I didn't mean to hurt you – I didn't mean to hurt you or Mo..." She didn't even remember his name. And somehow, that drove into him harder then any time she had ever hit him, any words she'd ever screeched. Seto slammed her back against the wall, a picture of a country side landscape falling from its hanger and smashing in five long fragments. His eyes glistened dangerously, an idea taking shape.

Tears rolled down his cheeks, mixing with hot water and swirling down the drain. He turned off the water and stood there for a long time, slumped against the wall and when he finally moved, Seto knew he couldn't stay alone in his vacant apartment tonight. There was a club downtown..._Corbas_. He'd been there once before, and it hadn't been so bad. And if nothing else he could get insanely drunk and it would deaden the pain. He climbed out of the shower and swallowed down another pill before slipping into a pair of tight leather jeans and a dark navy tank top. As he sat on the edge of his bed, tying the laces to his boots the brunet glanced at the tiny silver cross dangling from a hook in the dresser. There was still a tiny blood stain on the back he'd never been able to get off. Kaiba clicked off the light and there was a faint tinkling noise; the barren hook reverberating as the chain clinked against it in removal.

- - - -

When he woke up, it was already eight. Jou cursed and stretched languidly, arching his back and rotating his shoulders to work out the stiffness.

He fished through his closet and finally settled on black pants... or were they shorts? He wasn't really sure, seeing as they were too short to be pants and they were too long to be shorts but at the same time they weren't capri's. The blonde shrugged nonchalantly and fastened a black and white checkered belt around his waist, frowning when he realized there was only one shirt hanging clean in his closet; it was white and said Blue October in sketchy maroon lettering. It was also just a shade small, crawling up over his stomach to expose smooth, flat stomach muscle. Jou scowled and muttered under his breath, completing the look with the same ragged Converse high tops he'd had on earlier that afternoon. A long toll rang through the dorm, tied to a shorter ring. "Comin'!" The mahogany eyed teen yelled, hopping over the laundry basket in the middle of the hall and stumbling into the door way.

He let them in and for a minute the two leather clad duplicates stared at him. Not directly at him, but at the vast spread of flesh that his shirt showed. It seemed the shirt had betrayed him and ridden up to the point he might as well have been wearing a bikini top. "Stupid too tight..." he mumbled a short tirade and adjusted the fabric.

Yami and Yugi traded glances, Yugi blushing. "Don't you think that's sort of...erm...revealing?"

Yugi wasn't really one to talk, his own shirt intentionally climbing half way up his chest, but Jou knew he what he meant. The blonde rarely wore anything that didn't cover up most all of his upper torso. Sure, he usually had a tiny bit of skin showing, but nothing that left so little to the imagination. "It was all I had clean." Jou replied haplessly, considering finding something in dirty to change into.

"No, no! It looks really good on you, it's just...you know..." Yugi burst into a fit of giggles, his naivety getting the better of him. Jou playfully punched him in the shoulder earning a startled yelp followed by a second yell as the smaller boy knocked into Yami, sending them both to the ground.

This time it was Jou's turn to laugh, shaking his head at them and then laughing even harder when Yami shot him an irritated glare. Yugi grinned and helped Yami up. He hadn't seen his friend genuinely laugh in a long time. "We better get going – I promised Ryou and the others we'd meet them there in ten minutes and that was-"he glanced at his watch, violet orbs widening, "oops, fifteen minutes ago." The tri-haired boy grabbed Yami and Jou's hands, dragging them out of the apartment and outside into the warm, late August night.

Since the club was only ten minutes down the street, Yugi suggested they walk. None of them had earned scholarships, and it would save money not wasting the gas. It was a Friday night and though the streets were lined with cars and voice and music poured out of every opening door, the sidewalk wasn't jammed with people like it was in the afternoon and the three teens messed around and darted around the sidewalk all the way to the club.

A pink neon sign hung over the building that read _Corbas, _the front windows were tinted dark so only moving shadows could be seen from the outside. They ducked into the alley way and entered the club through its side entrance, the noise suddenly deafening. The music pulsed in the walls and shouting and drunken cheers flooded _Corbas_,and it was Jou who first noticed the ring of people in the middle of the dance floor. The club was famous for it; competitions were held every five to ten minutes and there weren't any prizes, hell, the club wasn't even regulating it, it was simply crowd favorite or whoever gave up first.

What he wasn't expecting to see was a brunet with piercing blue eyes dancing with a girl only a year older then him, their bodies pressed together and moving swiftly with the fast beat. The act wasn't sensual at all, both of them had needed a partner and that's all there was to it.

"Wow, I didn't know Kaiba could dance," Yugi murmured, in awe as his amethyst irises tried to keep up with their rapid movements.

"Yeah, me neither..." Something flamed in his eyes and Jou found himself wishing it were him on the floor, surrounded by the crowd. Was he jealous? ...But why would he be jealous of Kaiba – he couldn't stand that bastard. He frowned and yelled at Yugi over the dim roar, "I'm gonna go over to the bar, I'll see you later!"

His friend nodded, moving toward the area where Anzu and Ryou were waving to get their attention and Otogi, Honda, and Bakura were shrinking away from, pretending not to know them.

Jou pulled up an empty bar stool and ordered a beer, idly spinning in circles while he waited. About the eighth time he spun around he was greeted with a set of startlingly blue eyes and a small smirk. The blonde's own eyes grew as big as saucers and he nearly fell out of his chair. "Kaiba! What're you-"

He was cut off as the brunet fastened his lips onto the mutt's, twining his fingers in Jou's glossy blonde locks, his mouth tasting of alcohol, desperation, and lonliness.

_To be continued..._

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Duckie: I'm planning to have chapter two posted by Saturday, depending on how much homework and stuff I have, and how much creativity my mind is willing to share.


	2. Baffling truth

Duckie: No real commentary this time. o-o But this chapter was a lot easier to write than the first, and I hope you all enjoy it.

**Euphoria – **The situation with Mokuba will be told as the story goes on, Jou lives in a dormitory on the college campus, and I'm not telling whether it will be lemon or not. :D

Note: Sorry I didn't update over the weekend – I was sick on Saturday and my computer was down Sunday. Also, since people got confused last chapter about the flashbacks, they will now be in bold print.

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Jou's body relaxed, his jaw slackening as Kaiba sought entrance to his mouth. _He's drunk._ The blonde pulled back, catching the other teenager as he fell into Jou's arms, unconscious. From across the room he hadn't been able to tell, but now that the brunet was lying in his lap, Jou become aware of the glazed over sheen in Seto's azure eyes. "Man, Kaiba..." He looked over at the door, then to Yugi who was powering down cokes and talking to the others. But he couldn't just leave Kaiba here... "Shit."

The blonde eased off the bar stool and draped Seto's arm around his shoulder, than put his arm over Kaiba. He wasn't very heavy, but Jou struggled getting him through the crowd and out the door, vaguely surprised no one had stopped him. It wasn't exactly normal to carry around knocked out guys, though at a bar maybe it wasn't that weird.

Half way down the street, Kaiba's dead weight was starting to cause Jou trouble. He had come close to falling over three times, and his shoulders were beginning to ache unmercifully. Jou shifted his body like an over sized rag doll and carried him bridal style, the brunet's head lolling against Jou's chest and his feet dangling over the mutt's arm. Only then did it occur to him he had no idea where Kaiba lived. "Shit!" He would have to go home with him... Wait – no, that was just...just..._wrong. _The brunet in his house would be like someone trespassing in his sanctuary, would somehow allow Kaiba in too far. "Kaiba, you owe me big time."

Jou managed to twist the flaky gold knob, kicking the door open. He instinctively moved for the couch, but noticed it was loaded with junk and hesitated; why hadn't he bought that love seat again? The only other place was... No. He couldn't do that. No choice. The blonde grimaced, longingly staring down at his clean, inviting bed, before carefully setting Seto on top of the sheets. The said boy snuggled into the soft mattress, and Jou couldn't help but gape; his silky brunet hair tumbled across his face, thick eye lashes pressed lightly into his cheek and his mouth forming a soft 'o'. Never had Kaiba looked as vulnerable or innocent.

Tentatively, Jou traced one finger over the sleeping teenager's jaw bone, as if checking to make sure Seto was really there and not just a hallucination – no, he couldn't be a hallucination; the blonde's shoulders were a throbbing reminder of that. He shook his head and pulled away, grabbing his CD player from underneath a page of notes he was pretty sure he had a test on Monday.

The disc wasn't labeled, but was a collection of songs he'd downloaded and burned onto a CD with the help of the slightly more computer literate Bakura. His headphones had been a Christmas present from Yugi a few years back; they were expensive and DJ styled with a convenient volume control on the cord. _Razorblade _blasted in his ears, and his eyes slid shut as he shoved mess out of the way and sunk into the couch, the song pulsed through his body like a vein, every part of him thriving on the music.

Soon the blonde caught himself singing along, his voice quiet enough not to disturb Kaiba in the other room, but loud enough that he was able to match his voice to every strained cord and cram emotion into every lyric. "Sing with me! A brief bout with a razorblade cut me, I freaked out, thinking people did-un't love me..."

A bleary eyed brunet curled up in Jou's bed and listened, the puppy's voice soothing despite its harsh tone. The energy had melted away and now his intoxication was playing tricks with his mind; he wasn't sure where he was or why, who was there, what was going on... Everything seemed hazy and images floated in his mind, leaves drifting in a sluggish river. He found himself not minding, not caring. ...Who was he again? "Doesn't matter..." Seto whispered into the darkness, his mind shutting down again.

Somewhere between track eight and track eleven Jounouchi drifted off himself, settling his head on the armrest and his voice slowly trickling to a stop.

- - - -

Morning sunlight played through the plastic mini blinds on the window, casting a soft glow over the brunet's face and shining down on his eyelids. He moaned and felt around blindly for something to cover his eyes, his hand landing on a pillow. The teen plopped it over his face and breathed in deeply, the rich scent of strawberries and cologne swirling through his nose. Hold on a second – strawberry? _I don't use strawberry anything. _His eyes shot open and he bolted upright, immediately regretting it as sharp pain jarred his head. Where in the hell...?

Memories came flooding back; drinking, dancing with that girl, kissing the mutt – there. Stop there. _You. Kissed. Him. _But then what happened? The cells in his brain scrambled for answer, came up blank. They didn't...? Oh no, oh no, no, no. _This must be his house. So...where is the mutt? _ Seto climbed out of the blonde's bed, squeezing his eyes shut as nausea flooded his stomach. He frowned at the mussed bedding, and tugged his feet out of his boots, feeling it necessary even under the bizarre circumstances.

He padded into the living room, and jumped when a thunderous growling sound came from the corner. The brunet whirled around, fists up, and just about had fell over. It was the puppy, rolled up in a ball on the couch, his head twisted at an odd angle to lay on the armrest, and he was snoring, mouth wide open and drool pooling around his head. It was simultaneously cute and repulsive.

Kaiba wasn't sure what to do; he could leave, and that was the option he was most fond of, but he felt obligated to stay, at least until the mutt woke up. Now the question was whether he should let the blonde get up on his own, or if he needed a little stimulus. The brunet smirked and wandered into the kitchen, hunting through the cabinets in search of a cup.

"Lookin' for somethin'?" Asked a sluggish voice, its owner leaned against the door frame.

The cabinet banged shut, the mutt scaring him for the second time that morning. "No." He said stiffly, his arms folding over his chest.

Jou raised an eyebrow, "Yeah, right."

Seto's azure eyes narrowed, and he ignored the throbbing it sent to his pounding head. Roughly, he shouldered past the puppy and snatched his boots out of the blonde's room, then plunked down on the sofa and began lacing them up.

"What the hell's yer problem!?" His chocolate orbs sparked with anger, his voice trembled.

"I-" The room began to sway, the world unfocused and muddled, everything in pairs.

"K-Kaiba?"

There were two mutts'...both seemed worried and confused. His lips were moving, shaping and forming words, but he couldn't hear him.

"Medicine..." He said dumbly, remembered what the doctor had specifically told him, what the bottle read in bold print. 'Do not mix with alcohol.' He'd had three that day, one in the morning, one in the afternoon. One right before he left.

Things weren't blurry anymore; they were simply getting darker, fading away to black. Seto's pulse raced, his breathing becoming shabby and hoarse. Someone was calling out to him again; a void in the abyss, but it was too late now. Seto Kaiba was no longer in the realm of the wake.

**Without tearing his eyes away from her, the brunet kneeled and picked up the most serrated piece of glass, pleased to see tiny drops of red bead from his fingertips as he tested the edge. "What is his name." He was demanding it, not asking.**

**"Seto-"**

**"What is his name!" Kaiba pressed down on her throat with his forearm, enough to hurt, but not rendering her unconscious. He wouldn't let her go that easily. He dug the glass wedge into the tender flesh of her upper arm, than drew it out painstakingly slow. Dark crimson spurted from the gaping wound and the woman gasped, instinctively reaching to clutch it with her other hand. Bad idea. Seto lodged the shard in her clean arm, this time not taking it out, but madly twisting it.**

**"Kaiba! I'm your mother!"**

**The brunet laughed, logic finally beginning to crack; her stupidity was astounding. It didn't matter who she was, what mattered is what he had _done, _or in some cases, what she hadn't done. "Tell me his name, and I'll let you go."**

**"It's..."**

**It shouldn't require thought. The glass punctured her stomach, going straight through. Kaiba picked up another piece, testing it on her left cheek and leaving a thin slash. "_You're _his _mother_, you _should_ know!"**

"**Mokuba!" She sobbed, her head lowered shamefully. "His name...is Mokuba."**

"**Sorry, mother dearest, the timer went off a long time ago. You lose." There wasn't even time for her to scream as the jagged edge slit her throat. Crimson pooled at his feet and Kaiba abandoned her body, changed shoes, and left the house. He locked the door behind him.**

**The clubhouse was barely ten minutes away since the river sat a slightly past the fence line, and Seto sprinted all the way down, neatly clearing the fence. Instead of taking the round stepping stones like they usually did so they wouldn't get in trouble for having their clothes wet, the brunet splashed through the shallow water that only came up to his knees. He was cold to the bone and his wet pants clung to his legs, but Seto didn't feel it, was only aware that it should be there.**

**Across the river there was a wooded area that began as abruptly as it started; the whole woods estimated as maybe twenty feet across. The clubhouse was placed in a clearing, and was more like a shack then anything else. But the two boys went there to hide and play, or if Mokuba was gone, Kaiba would go there to be alone. **

**The brunet could tell there was an abnormality before he ever looked in the clubhouse. He was eerily alone, and if his raven haired little brother were there then that feeling wouldn't exist. "Mokuba!?" He waited, begging for the comforting sound of his brother's voice. Silence.**

"**Mokuba?" He was only whispering now, knowing he wasn't going to get an answer no matter how many times he yelled.**

**Seto shook his head frantically, dodging and darting through trees in search of the only person he'd ever cared about, who had ever cared about him. His heart already knew what happened, but his mind refused to accept it.**

**When he found him, Kaiba didn't notice the blood, at first all he saw was the small frame, face down in the snow, his jet black locks harsh against the pure white snow. He crouched on the ground and grabbed Mokuba's shoulders, pulling him backwards into his lap and instantly dropped him, scrambling backwards.**

**The entire front of his jacket was soaked with it, the air was thick and rotten with the stench of it, it was his brother's life force oozing in scarlet. "Mokie... Don't die on me; you've got to hang on a little longer." It was a lost cause – his baby brother had already lost too much blood and when Seto placed a cautious hand over Mokuba's wrist, there was no pulse. "I-I...I killed him. I killed him. I killed him!"**

"His," Seto murmured, his body shaking. "Why..."

Jou was panicking – should he call an ambulance, wait it out? Medicine, something about medicine. Images of the prescription bottle and Seto desperately trying to get it back washed up in his mind. The blonde bolted for the kitchen and grabbed his ancient laptop off the table and dropped to the floor, irritably waiting for Google to load. His nimble fingers typed in the name and Jou cursed when he was given a screen that read 'Your search – Daretrium – did not match any documents. No pages were found containing "Daretrium".' "It doesn't exist?" How was that possible!? The stupid bottle had pills in it and it said 'Daretrium'.

Kaiba was crying now, his body wracked with choking sobs. "I did it...I killed him."

The blonde stared, almost afraid of this strange side of Kaiba. But he wasn't even awake; he was hallucinating, or dreaming. Night terror – he'd heard the term before. They were like really bad nightmares, but with more effects. _You had a test over it in that psychology class... What do you do for the person having it? _He had no idea. Jou raked a hand through his hair and decided to do the one thing that actually made sense. He sat down next to the brunet and tightly wrapped his arms around the other's waist, burying his face in Seto's shoulder, drawing him in so every curve and angle of the azure eyed man's body fit into his own.

"It's alright," he soothed, stroking Seto's hair. It came naturally, and Jou was surprised by how soft Kaiba's hair was, how smooth and rich it felt spreading over his fingers.

Like the eye of a hurricane, Seto was suddenly calm. His breathing started regulating again and he sank into the puppy. In ten minutes, Jou was asleep too, holding Kaiba close security blanket.

- - - -

His eyes blinked open, taking a moment to adjust to the darkness. He was so warm... Delicate breathing gently tickled his ear and Seto burrowed in deeper to the body beneath his. It was then that the dim fog that had taken captive of his brain receded and the brunet hurtled to the floor, hitting his head on the coffee table as he struggled to escape.

The blonde shot upright shortly after, and blinked when he saw Kaiba. "You're still here?"

"Just what do you think you were doing?" His tone was callous, but his eyes were confused and veiled fear.

"Do...ing?" What _had _he been doing? Jou frowned; was it about holding him earlier?

"You were...never mind. I have more important business to attend to then hanging out with you, mutt."

The puppy didn't bother arguing, he knew he wouldn't get any gratitude out of that hard ass, it was a hopeless case. His stubbornness usually would have prevailed and he would have gotten into it with the heartless brunet, but he was tired and had homework and it just wasn't worth it. "Just go."

Seto almost cringed. He didn't care about the mutt, he didn't care what he said, but for some reason the blonde telling him to leave had _hurt. _And no one had hurt him in a long, long time. The azure eyed man wordlessly laced up his boots and left, the door quietly clicking shut behind him.

Jou blew a sigh into his bangs and stared up at the ceiling, counting the cracks and nail holes. It was a relief to have the brunet gone, but the crappy apartment seemed emptier without him. _Stupid, he was only here a day. _You can't miss someone in a day, can't want to depend on someone after only a day; Jou had learned that when he was a kid. He glanced at the books open on the coffee table, at the long equations scrawled on page after page. Not tonight, do it tomorrow. The blonde nodded, agreeing with himself, and went into his bedroom.

In the closet he had three boxes of old memorabilia he'd collected over the years. Yugi called it Jou's Junk Box, but the blonde wasn't overly fond of the nickname. Everything in the box smelled old and musty, and Jou began sifting through school awards and projects he'd done as a little kid. But what he was most interested in was the photo albums. They contained pictures of him at little league games, graduating from elementary school, graduating from high school. His dad wasn't in any of them, and he hadn't been the one who took them. There were pictures of him with Yugi and Honda and Ryou, laughing, and flashing peace signs in their dark navy graduation robes, but no pictures like the one's Yugi had with his grandpa or Honda with his dad who had come even though he was supposed to be out of town. He knew Ryou's parents hadn't been there, but Bakura had been, and in Ryou's bedroom there were pictures in small frames everywhere of him and his mother at soccer games.

A single tear rolled down his cheek before Jou snapped the album shut and shoved the box back into the closet. Pitying himself never did any good, and it never failed to make him feel like the mutt Kaiba loved to kick around. The blonde grabbed his jacket, shrugged it on, and left the dormitory.

- - - -

The weather was unpredictable in November – last night it had been warm enough to be mid-spring, but today it was dreary and cold, a mask of fog hanging low over the city. Seto swiftly cut through the park, finding himself strangely unnerved since there weren't any laughing children running through the grass, or the squeak of metal as the ancient swings went back and forth, and there weren't any parents yelling for their kids to stop playing in the mud. Though he despised children and their general lack of knowledge, the noise was comforting.

As he continued to walk it began to rain. Lightly as first, but then it was pouring, his clothes sticking uncomfortably to his cold body, soaked brunet locks disheveled and in his face. He didn't care; in fact, it was better this way. _I deserve that and so much more. _His fist clenched at his side; he deserved, so why couldn't he have it? Why wasn't he allowed to be punished!? _Because that's what you want. You can never have what you want. _Seto's head drooped, the water sheeting off his hair inches away from his face, his right hand working open the latch just the right way out of habit.

The grass squished and mud sucked at his shoes, but Kaiba ignored it, his mind leading him to the fifth row of headstones, second plot. The sleek black marble was inscribed simply; 'Mokuba Kaiba. 1993 – 1998. 'May his soul rest in peace.''

- - - -

The blonde kneeled and pulled weeds away from the grave, watery mud flinging on his pants. He didn't bother with the identical stone next to it – that bastard's grave could grow over with weeds until the care taker cleaned it, because Jou didn't want to associate with him in any way. Especially after what he'd done to Serenity. When the blonde started screaming at the funeral, his mother had tried to tell him it wasn't his dad's fault, but Jou knew better. He had been drunk when he drove Serenity home that night, he always was, it was his fault, and he had killed the honey eyed boy's sister.

Jou stood up and was surprised to see someone else there. Not just anyone, but Seto Kaiba to be exact. _What would he be doing here? _The blonde angled around headstones and before he ever got close enough to tell whether the brunet was crying or it was only rain coursing down his cheeks, he took off sprinting, only glancing back once he had cleared the fence. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights, his eyes wild and bewildered. The puppy watched him disappear, then focused his attention on the grave Kaiba had been standing in front of. His heart skipped a beat, and a trembling curse escaped his mouth. This said that Mokuba Kaiba had died at the age of five, six years ago.

- - - -

Duckie: Ooh, a cliffhanger! And a confusing one at that! How can someone who they've all known as an eleven year old have been dead for six years? Reviews are lurved, especially ones with critiquing or suggestions on how this bizarre event happened. I have my own plan for things, but if I like someone's idea I might incorporate it too.


	3. So while I'm falling

Duckie: So sorry it took such a long time to update! I've had a lot to do, with projects, exams, the holidays and such. Please forgive me. ;; In this chapter I present to you my first ever yaoi attempt, and I'm pretty okay with how it turned out.

Notes: This chapter is a lemon (though it wasn't originally intended to be… :sweatdrop: ) so if you don't like that dun read it! Also, I currently have no form of writing tool with a spell/grammar check, so please excuse my mistakes!

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For a long time, Jou just stared at the carefully carved letters, trying to make sense of it. Mokuba was with Kaiba every chance he got; he'd been there at graduation a little over a year ago. There was no explanation that he could come up with - that kid was fucking alive. He had seen him, had seen Kaiba hug his physical form, when the raven haired boy had last came down to the campus. "Kaiba, you gotta lot of explaining to do," he muttered, hopping the gate and taking off in search of the brunet.

It wasn't hard to find Seto – the rain left fresh tracks of mud and where the dirt ended and the pavement leading up an apartment staircase began, dirty footprints guided him. Kaiba's boots and a pair of dripping socks had been abandoned at the doorstep, and tentatively, he rang the door bell. No one answered, not that he'd honestly expected anyone to, and Jou took it upon himself to be his own invitation, carefully twisting the door knob. Though it was a lot cleaner, Seto's house was very bleak compared to Jou's, and it vaguely reminded him of a doctor's office; stark and sterile and nothing out of place. The blonde shuddered. He toed off his high tops, pulled off his soggy socks and roamed the halls, opening doors that led to closets and rooms full of whirring computers, and a guest room for whenever Mokuba came.

The brunet's room was at the end of the hall and was the only one, Jou found, that even began to show Kaiba's true self. There was a massive mural on the ceiling of a Blue Eyes White Dragon, every intricate detail portrayed so that it looked at if it might leap off the ceiling and fly around the room at any second. The queen size bed was covered in navy silk that shimmered under the dim illumination of sky lights. There was a simple but modernistic dresser on the right of the door, and a small hook jutted out with a silver cross dangling from it. Funny, but Jou never suspected Seto as a religious man.

There was one other door he hadn't opened, and unfortunately for an unsuspecting brunet, Jou failed to stumble across the realization it might be a bathroom. The blonde knew when he was hit with a blast of heated steam what was going on, and heat crept into his face. A very naked and very dazed Seto stood in front of him, a towel hanging at a precarious angle on his head. Jou couldn't help but look; he was right in front of him after all. The brunet's chest was water glossed and defined, smooth muscle rippling as he breathed. Dark pubic hair stood out against his pale inner legs, damp and matted, his hair beautifully tousled and seemingly childish with the towel perched on it.

Logic told him it was a dream - and if that were the case it didn't matter what he did. He reached out and one slender digit traced a path down the icy eyed man's cheek to his soft bottom lip. Seto tilted his head and slipped Jou's finger into his mouth, lightly caressing the intricate whorls of his thumb pad with his tongue. Jou gasped and the brunet smirked, sealing his lips over the blonde's. He opened his mouth in protest, only to be silenced by Seto slipping his tongue in the other boy's mouth, gently urging the blonde into response. The puppy shuddered and allowed Kaiba to back him into the wall, their bodies pressed together tightly. Their tongues danced in a battle for dominance until Seto ground his hips against the honey eyed teen's, the boy groaning and thrusting his tongue into the brunet's heated mouth. Seto sucked at Jou's tongue and the boy moaned, dizzied by the throbbing heat pulsing in his groin.

The brunet pulled away and the other whimpered until Kaiba took his hand and led him out of the bathroom. Leisurely, he pushed Jou onto the bed, straddling his hips and placing quick kisses on over scarlet-stained cheeks. His hands slid underneath the blonde's shirt, teasing tender buds of flesh into hardened peaks, loving the way the smaller duelist writhed beneath him. He stripped Jou's shirt, leaving his captive vulnerable. But the brunet paused, the sound of their heavy breathing singled and amplified. Kami, Jounouchi was so beautiful. His fingers lightly trailed over the blonde's exposed chest, entranced by the way stomach muscle shuddered under his delicate touch. It was powerful, overwhelming even. A thumb caressed his nipples teasingly, Jou releasing a sharp hiss between his teeth.

Kaiba grinned viciously, sucking the hollow of his blonde's neck, his hands skimming Jou's hips. Then Seto's tongue went to work, starting on the other boy's pert nipples, biting and licking, leaving a cool trail all the way down to his hips. He shifted slightly, smirking in amusement at the panting moans from his puppy as his hard member brushed Jou's leg. "You _are _a dog. Submissive and willing to his master's every command."

Jounouchi didn't argue.

In a motion that was painfully slow, Seto tugged down Jou's zipper and slid the wet garments from his legs, throwing them away. He raised an eyebrow slightly at the fact the blonde was wearing no undergarments, but was less then disapproving. His hand ghosted the other's erection and Jou arched his back, longing for contact.

"Seto!"

Seto captured his mouth again, their slick sweaty flesh rubbing together. He stroked between Jou's legs hard, then pumped gently.

"Nnn…Seto…please…"

"Say it. Say it and I'll make it all better." His voice was husky, heavy with desire, breathing warm air over the blonde's face and licking his delicate ear lobe.

"Do it…"

"What?" His lips brushed the tip of member, cerulean irises glancing up.

Maddened with arousal, Jou could only lean forward and whisper between harsh kisses how badly he wanted Seto on him, the other's heat surrounding his painfully hard member.

Seto placed a firm kiss on the blonde lips and went down on him, forcing back his gag reflex. He wanted as much of the honey eyed duelist in him as possible.

Jou's back arched off the bed as he strained not to thrust into Seto's mouth. The CEO took the teen's full length into his mouth and Jou twined his hands into brunet locks, pulling roughly, waves of ecstasy coursing through his body, driving him to the brink of insanity. "Seto….ngh… Oh Kami… please…I'm…I…" Kaiba twirled that skilled tongue around his member and Jou lost it. "_Seto_!"

The brunet came at the same time, moaning desperately around the blonde's length, licking and sucking away Jou's faintly sweet semen like candy. Seto slid up and lay sprawled across Jou's chest, breathing hard, their legs trapped together in a tangle of sweat. Seto's messy chestnut hair fell over Jou's upper torso, his dark features stark against the blonde's lighter ones.

He wasn't sure how long they remained that way, lying in the pale light glowing from the bathroom door, only that Jounouchi was quickly lured into the peaceful oblivion of sleep, leaving Seto to teeter on the brink between nightmares and the pain of reality. "I'm sorry," he whispered into the abyss, drifting out of consciousness and into his own private Hell of the past he simply couldn't let go of.

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Duckie: Ugh! I'm sorry, that wasn't very good at all, was it? And, being the sneaky authoress I am, gave you no new information! But don't worry. I might piece together a little more of the puzzle next chapter, and I promise my next shot at yaoi will be better! (-hinthint-)

Reviews are appreciated as usual, as are detailed descriptions of what do like and dislike. :3


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